You Big Mouth, You!

A SELF-STYLED Chiweshe traditional healer voluntarily surrendered his “zvikwambo” (goblins) to the local chief for destruction on the advice of the police, saying that the magical powers of supernatural creatures had become “too hot” for him to handle.

The goblins, which he reportedly used as mubobobo (magical powers to be intimate with women in their sleep without their awareness and consent) became “uncontrollable” when they allegedly turned to his own daughters and started violating them. Shocked by the sudden twist of events, the traditional healer last week went to the nearby Glendale Police Station with the intention of surrendering the goblins.

Mashonaland Central police spokesman Inspector Michael Munyikwa yesterday confirmed that Bisweck Phiri of Mavhurambudzi Village, Chief Negomo�s area, wanted to get “rid” of the goblins giving the reason that he had “lost control of them”. Insp Munyikwa said Phiri confessed that the goblins were molesting his daughters and that he was embarrassed by his daughters� complaints. Insp Munyikwa said Phiri gave a report detailing how he also used the goblins to “attack his enemies and to fend for his family”, including allegedly stealing from other people. He further disclosed that number of victims became paralysed through the attacks.

The police, however, advised him to surrender his goblins to Chief Negomo as such cases fell under the chief�s jurisdiction. Phiri went to see Chief Negomo, who then consulted the services of another traditional healer, who is believed to have burnt the creatures.

Last year, a faith healer burnt two goblins which had been recovered from a Glendale man�s house. The goblins had allegedly caused several deaths in the family after the man had reportedly inherited them in the early 1960s from his brother.

These are the people whom President George W. Bush believes �don�t represent the heart and soul of America.� To innumerable conservative talk-show hosts who bash celebrities, while bathing in the limelight of celebrity themselves, they�re the �Hollyweird.� Rush Limbaugh and his Dittoheads call most of the creative community �Left Coast Hollywood Kooks,� even if they live in Omaha; simply, they�re traitors who should be exiled. But it is these �kooks� who are among the first to respond to humanitarian needs.

In 1985, Bob Geldof organized Live Aid. From Black Sabbath and Judas Priest to B.B. King, Joan Baez, and the Beach Boys, dozens of the best pop singers and musicians came together for 16 hours that led to more than $100 million in contributions for the people of Ethiopia who were dying in a famine that had been flamed by the world�s neglect.

Shortly after Live Aid, on a suggestion from Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson, Neil Young, and John Mellencamp organized Farm Aid to help struggling farmers who were being forced into poverty and bankruptcy by corporate farming.

Following 9/11, Madonna and Julia Roberts each donated $2 million for victims and their families. They were only two of thousands from the creative community, most earning less than $50,000 a year, to contribute.

I’m not sure, perhaps only two or three US citizens would see this comment, nevertheless, I’d like to express my gratitude for generosity and munificence your country has been having towards troubled people around the world. Just like last year when one of the most neglected city of my country devastated by earthquake, US helicopters were there to help out. Do you recall that historical city of Bam? Over 40,000 dead, etc. As an Iranian, I was delighted to see the presence of US military personnel in such an impudent atmosphere that detested regime of Iran had imposed over the face of my peaceful nation.

I am aware, those ignorant America-haters (mostly envious of her predominance) still would keep nagging at US for her “stinginess” and “depravity”; anyone with just a slight sense of unprejudiced comprehension would easily admit American’s generosity and good will. As a wealthiest country, US could be MUCH LESS generous without “Missing” anything material! (Even possibly gets wealthier than before), but with a glance at yearly statistics, it is obvious that Americans “are” charitable people.

And it is really nice to see those mean-spirited warships, airborne-fighters, spy satellites etc, to be the most efficient man-inventions to help human in the moment of natural calamity.
——-
And about those “per capita” figures:
Comparison of those statistical figures is truly an intricate process that requires more than mere journalistic knowledge. People generally forget this simple factor of “uniformity”. Norway (for an instance) is a small and quite uniform country in many aspects with low population. And by no means could be compared to the United States, which actually resembles a virtual world.

There is around 12.7% of US population yet live in poverty (which is 7.8 times more than whole population of Norway!) as compared to poverty in Norway which is 0.00% (perhaps a several dozens of individuals!). And governmental donations shouldn’t be the main charity-factor of a country like US (bear in mind the inconveniences of US Gov, heavy external debts[1], handling an expensive war and security issues etc, in contrast to Norway which is literally None!).

In the US, people do the charity! 249 billion dollars annually! More that $1000 “per capita”.

Is it fair to involve the debts of a country into this per capita formula? Ok, So American donation was $1.18 per capita WHILE over $3000 per capita in Debts compared to Norwegian’s Debts, which is a big Zero!

All right, Keep it up Chuck! Hope to see our nations “officially” friends again. (Without any nasty incident hopefully!)