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2/28/2005 22:43 EST $941,003,531. US donated by Americans for tsunami relief. The Stingy List [PDF] A collection of photos illustrating life on North Dakota farms in the early 1900's. Strong men and women, dogs, horses, and oxen doing all the work. Sons and daughters of Norway and Germany. LLC Formation Project Does the record number of LLC formations tell us anything about recent economic growth? No Ordinary Day My September 11 Anniversary Posts Here SARS Posts Here Who is the Big Mouth? About me Rants and raves and cats. Damn, the place is crawling with cats! Serving member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. ATTENTION: COMMENTS E-mail me if you want, but be aware that I may use your e-mail in a blog post unless you explicitly state otherwise. Archives February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 Week beginning 6/29/03 Week beginning 6/22/03 Week beginning 6/15/03 Week beginning 6/08/03 Week beginning 6/01/03 Week beginning 5/25/03 Week beginning 5/18/03 Week beginning 5/11/03 Week beginning 5/04/03 Week beginning 4/27/03 Week beginning 4/20/03 Week beginning 4/13/03 Week beginning 4/6/03 Week beginning 3/30/03 Week beginning 3/23/03 Week beginning 3/16/03 Week beginning 3/09/03 Week beginning 3/02/03 Week beginning 2/23/03 Week beginning 2/16/03 Week beginning 2/09/03 Week beginning 2/02/03 Week beginning 1/26/03 Week beginning 1/19/03 Week beginning 1/12/03 Other Sites of Note My Web Site WW II Tribute Web Site My Smallpox Info Web Site HOURLY READS Glenn Michele Rantburg Little Green Footballs Lucianne NRO's The Corner DAILY READS Tim Blair On The Third Hand BLOG ROLL Blogroll Me! Popdex Let conversation cease. Let laughter flee.This is the place where Death rejoices in helping Life.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003   Coping with Life I am an anxious person. Always have been. On all the personality tests I show up with a high anxiety level. That means that I worry a lot, fret even more. It means that I plan for the worst, and go out of my way to construct ways to avoid unpleasantness. As I haul my aching bones out of bed each morning, and go about the chores that I must do before I leave for work, I'm tired. Some days it seems like I've been tired for years. The most difficult task that I have ever faced is convincing myself that I have no control over anyone else. Whatever I see as obvious or necessary is not necessarily what anyone else might see. No matter how right I may feel myself to be, everyone else has to go their own way, and run their own life. I cannot fix it all. In fact, I can't fix much at all. All I can offer to those around me is support, encouragement, and loyality. Sometimes I have to accept that this will not be enough. All in all, this leaves me devoid of any feeling of accomplishment. It's not fixed. It's not changed. It's not different. And all three of those things are what I am driven to do. The inner frustration, the conflict, becomes nearly overwhelming at time. I became an EMT to DO SOMETHING. Yet, there, as in the rest of life, more often than not all I do is maintain the status quo. I stabilize patients. I stabilize my friends, my life. Stability may not be all it's cracked up to be. Each day, there are things that I must do when I get up, and before I go to bed. They won't get done if I don't do them. The endless grind is wearing. Is it worth it? Yes, it is still worth it, as tired and sore as I am. I get satisfaction from doing my "duty", keeping my promises, being responsible. Yet, in the back of my mind is always the thought that I have never not done that. What would it be like, to be free of all this? Is that the way the beggers on the street live? Or, is there some place in a person's life where you can live well and be content, happy, and saatisfied? Where you get out of bed each day looking forward to the day? Where going to bed each night is the climax of a productive, fulfilling day? -- posted by Chuck at Tuesday, August 19, 2003 | E-mail | Permalink | Main | 0 comments