At the heart of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a concept called mindfulness. It is the classic dialectical concept, both simple and complex, easy and difficult. Many DBT practitioners bring Eastern philosophies and practices to the teaching and practice of mindfulness but I want to talk more about my understanding of it and how I apply it in my own life.
We go through life with various levels of awareness of the world around us. A neurosurgeon needs to be intensely focused on his brain surgery and little else. A child, playing in an open field, is aware of the sun, the sky, the breeze, the plants and flowers, playmates and pets. Very differing levels of awareness.
Many of us, mentally ill or not, spend a great deal of our time far more intensely focused than we need to be. In particular, for those of us who have a mental illness, that focus is often on negative emotions and undesirable behaviors, and we shut out the rest of the world around us.
Mindfulness is living, being, in the present. It’s easy to stop ruminating or anticipating for a few seconds and accept that which is now. Then, most of us go back to the thought processes and behaviors we were doing before we were “interrupted”.
That interruption is why DBT uses mindfulness. Being in the present moment rips us away from a past we cannot change no matter how much we ruminate. It takes us to the present where our emotions can be observed and named without being acted upon. It opens the world around us to our souls, where we can feel the warmth of sunlight or the smell of roses as part of our reality and not an intrusion.
I think most of us would agree that the guy who is so focused on his phone that he walks into the street and is hit by a car could use a whole lot of mindfulness. But, how many of us notice the trigger that results in our anger? It was there, I guarantee. Increasing our mindfulness means that we may be able to observe that trigger and not react with anger.
It is not a “time out” but a “time in”. By becoming more mindful, we became more accepting of reality, of ourselves, and of the existence around us. We become an actual observer of life, and able to make choices about our participation. It’s tough to take action if you don’t know what’s going on.
Mindfulness tells me that everything does not suck. Mindfulness tells me that there is more to life than reliving the past over and over. Mindfulness allows me to observe myself and my surroundings without making a judgement. It is what it is. I can observe and that allows me choices to participate.
Life is not depression and anxiety. It contains those emotions but it is not filled with them. I have a choice how I react to those emotions and that is one big step in healing from my mental illness. And I want to heal.